I am new to all of this. I am going to try hard to keep a painfully honest journal regarding living with, loving hard core, and helping a Viet Vet find peace in his soul. His name is Virgil.
The journey began many years before I came to know him. He joined the military voluntarily at 17. His brother's number was drawn for service in the Draft. Virg talked his father into signing the paperwork so they went together into service. Both to the Army. He knew all about the Sullivan Act and he was going to use it. Virgil entered in just a few days ahead of his brother. He survived boot camp, coming back home for just a few days R&R before leaving for Nam. He bought his parents their first console color tv,... spent time with his parents and grandparents... then left.
It did not take long to discover just what Vietnam was all about. It was knowing everything around you at every minute... knowing that the kid who cut your hair this morn could, without thought, cut your throat that night. He spent tons of time going up and down rivers in boats, delivering jet fuel and gasoline to outposts. There are 8mm movies of planes flying over the rivers, and wet substance raining down on these "boys"... for what kid is really a man at 18. I see the movies and pics today, and they all look like babes... sent to war. Virgil tells stories once in a while, when it is just him and I. Stories of riding the fuel boat, snipers shooting from the trees lining the rivers, dry brown, brittle leaves... Stories of the fun they had on a little island with no people there... time spent riding an ironing board as a surf board...he did not know what it was that was being sprayed... but he knew it killed every green living thing it touched. All of this happened while I went through grade school. Seeing the war on tv....
Virgil signed the paperwork to volunteer for a second round of Nam. It was to save his brother. He quietly talks of how his brother was sure he would die if sent "in country". I cannot think of a more pure love than to offer to die if necessary to save another. It is no wonder I am head over heals crazy about this man.
He did his time in Nam... and returned home when he knew his brother could not be called up again. He had horrid headaches. He went to the VA. He tried to get help for the headaches. He was told, "it is all in your head". He was rejected for any type of help from the VA. The headaches gradually faded ad he got on with life. He actually laughs with tears in his eyes whenever he talks about that. He was married, and children were not in the picture for the two of them. He adopted a mentally handicapped child. A time after that, there was a daughter that came to be...
I meet him as he was in the last stages of divorce. His children were with him. I was a widow for many years that was going through an annulment of a second marriage, a miserable failure. The chemistry was instant. We had our battles as we adjusted to each other. We found a way to work through each and every one of them. He was and is a devoted father. He preferred to not go to gathering of many people. When he did, he always found a way to have his back against a wall. He was quiet and watchful. He would go silent if angry. It was rather funny, cause I would try my best to draw him out, and make him fight... and I could see the fire in his eyes... He would stay quiet until he was ready. Not much of the above has changed over the years.
Medical problems began to surface in 2003. I had known he had an irregular heart beat from the first moment I met him. He started having very odd swelling on just one side of the body. Face, hands and legs, but only on one side. The doc thought maybe it was lung cancer. That was quickly ruled out. We went to a cardiologist that our GP recommended. He could find nothing wrong. We started keeping regular appointments with the cardiologist just to watch and wait for the symptoms to come back. He had a few episodes of very strange behavior. He would get horrid stomach pains, vomiting, and then turning ash grey, passing out. We could never pin anything down, due to symptoms would be resolved before any doc could see it.
On March1, 2008, they did. Hard core.
He was raced to a major hospital in our area. It was determined that he had a blood clot in his lungs. It was summized at this point that the previous episodes were also, most likely, blood clots that resolved on their own. His joints started to grow strange orangish hard lumps, swelling insanely. He could barely move on a frequent basis. The diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Started on medicines that are not polite, no matter how you look at them. Told that he suffers from cardiomegaly at this time. Given more pills to help slow and strengthen the heart.
Time moves on. He needs oxygen all the time if he is trying to move. If he is sitting still, his body can keep up. A short walk across a room, and he is panting for air. He is on medicine to control any further blood clot formation. He is on drugs to slow and strengthen that precious heart. I come home one day to have him saying, "hon, it feels like there are butterflies in here", putting his hand on his chest.
Once again, we're looking for answers. Why is the heart racing along at 180 to 260 beats per minute, and then self convert to regularly irregular rhythm. Up for cardiac ablation. The surgeon found a "birth defect", and stopped, thinking that was the answer. Back again 3 months latter for round 2 ablation. Twenty focal points were found and destroyed. The focal points were telling the bottom of the heart to basically become a jello jiggler. The heart still has in interesting rhythm for anyone trying to get a rate. At least it is not going 260 beats a minute... I can't even come close to getting a count when it is that fast...
Most recently to this entry, he was in the hospital last week of March. Best way to describe it, watching him try to breath was like watching a goldfish that has jumped out of it's bowl. The heart was going up to 180 bpm, and he was exhausted just trying to breath. The local GP started him on high dose of prednisone, to calm the lungs, and blood pressure pills. On discharge, he recommended we see the lung doc and the heart doc.
Appointments were made with both. At the lung doc, we saw the nurse practitioner. She said it was not the lungs causing the problem. She threw a fit over the amount of prednisone and gave us directions to come off it quickly. The heart doc ran a few tests and said it was not the heart... to say the least I was more than a little frustrated. We followed directions, and then more problems surfaced. He was not able to eat, and was sleeping so much. Constant bad pain, especially in the lower back. His skin was taking on a strange orangish color. he looked like he was doing the fake bake sun treatment all over. Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea. He was falling when he tried to walk about the house. This is a man that has never had trouble with balance. We went to a gastroenterology specialist. He also said "not me". I expressed frustration. I had looked at Virg while we were waiting for the doc to come in on our last visit, and said "I know what's wrong! Your adrenal's have shut down! It all makes sense!" The doc came in, and said "you are so sick, do you really want to do anything further? It does not make sense to treat for anything with you being so sick." I stated to him I believed it was adrenal crisis, and he poo pawed me. Said he could not do anything more, and suggested we go to the emergency room of the local teaching hospital so we could be seen right away, if we did not want to wait to get into a clinic at the University of Iowa. I came home and called the GP. God love him. I have the GP's cell # cause he knows i will never abuse it. Told him what I thought. He got excited to, stating that we never see it, and that is probably was the answer. He ordered tests and prednisone right away. After two days on prednisone, Virg is alert, eating, and doing great. We have started to edge him off the prednisone, but very slowly. The first attempt to wean after going back on was a little too fast. We are now inching him off 1mg at a time. We went to a clinic at the University. Lung clinic. Went through all the students... and it was like a cattle call. poked, prodded, and then still not given any real answers. We were told to return in 6 weeks. When we did go back, we were told how "out of date" and the physicians that do not work at the U were, and that we should change all care over to the U. Problem was, they did not have any answers either.
We got a call from the heart specialist. He had us come in and suggested that we see the Congestive Heart Failure doc that was part of his group. We agreed, and went through yet more tests... found that the heart is at 30% efficiency at this time. 70% lost due to extreme thinning of the lower chambers. Imagine a balloon that has been blown up and deflated over and over... then let most of the air out. that is Virg's heart at this time. The extreme thinning of the muscle is rare without multiple heart attacks. We have started more medications for this... May i please state I hate pills...
Did post my frustration of Facebook. One of my friends mentioned to me that we should apply for military disability due to assumptive diseases. I did go to http://www.va.gov/ and found the spot to start. Virg has always stated that he knew his health issues were directly related to what they sprayed on him, and he was going to go after them. I told him of the spot i had found where i could "fast track" an application to the VA. He approved. I spent over an hour filing out the forms. If this is fast track, I do not want to ever be on the "slow lane".
Most recently, we went to a doc's appointment with the local GP, and were told they had a pile of VA papers they were completing for us. I am hopeful. Virg, to this day, feels that not only the long haired man at the airport spit on him when he came home, but so has our country. He needs validation that what we did to him as a young man was wrong. I need to make this happen for him just so he has a little peace in the final time he has on this planet...
He is very sick,... the gastro doc was right... but not so sick that he has given up. We have all the paperwork in place should the time come when he is ready to let life slide... but as for today... I am going to fight for him... he is my love...
The journey began many years before I came to know him. He joined the military voluntarily at 17. His brother's number was drawn for service in the Draft. Virg talked his father into signing the paperwork so they went together into service. Both to the Army. He knew all about the Sullivan Act and he was going to use it. Virgil entered in just a few days ahead of his brother. He survived boot camp, coming back home for just a few days R&R before leaving for Nam. He bought his parents their first console color tv,... spent time with his parents and grandparents... then left.
It did not take long to discover just what Vietnam was all about. It was knowing everything around you at every minute... knowing that the kid who cut your hair this morn could, without thought, cut your throat that night. He spent tons of time going up and down rivers in boats, delivering jet fuel and gasoline to outposts. There are 8mm movies of planes flying over the rivers, and wet substance raining down on these "boys"... for what kid is really a man at 18. I see the movies and pics today, and they all look like babes... sent to war. Virgil tells stories once in a while, when it is just him and I. Stories of riding the fuel boat, snipers shooting from the trees lining the rivers, dry brown, brittle leaves... Stories of the fun they had on a little island with no people there... time spent riding an ironing board as a surf board...he did not know what it was that was being sprayed... but he knew it killed every green living thing it touched. All of this happened while I went through grade school. Seeing the war on tv....
Virgil signed the paperwork to volunteer for a second round of Nam. It was to save his brother. He quietly talks of how his brother was sure he would die if sent "in country". I cannot think of a more pure love than to offer to die if necessary to save another. It is no wonder I am head over heals crazy about this man.
He did his time in Nam... and returned home when he knew his brother could not be called up again. He had horrid headaches. He went to the VA. He tried to get help for the headaches. He was told, "it is all in your head". He was rejected for any type of help from the VA. The headaches gradually faded ad he got on with life. He actually laughs with tears in his eyes whenever he talks about that. He was married, and children were not in the picture for the two of them. He adopted a mentally handicapped child. A time after that, there was a daughter that came to be...
I meet him as he was in the last stages of divorce. His children were with him. I was a widow for many years that was going through an annulment of a second marriage, a miserable failure. The chemistry was instant. We had our battles as we adjusted to each other. We found a way to work through each and every one of them. He was and is a devoted father. He preferred to not go to gathering of many people. When he did, he always found a way to have his back against a wall. He was quiet and watchful. He would go silent if angry. It was rather funny, cause I would try my best to draw him out, and make him fight... and I could see the fire in his eyes... He would stay quiet until he was ready. Not much of the above has changed over the years.
Medical problems began to surface in 2003. I had known he had an irregular heart beat from the first moment I met him. He started having very odd swelling on just one side of the body. Face, hands and legs, but only on one side. The doc thought maybe it was lung cancer. That was quickly ruled out. We went to a cardiologist that our GP recommended. He could find nothing wrong. We started keeping regular appointments with the cardiologist just to watch and wait for the symptoms to come back. He had a few episodes of very strange behavior. He would get horrid stomach pains, vomiting, and then turning ash grey, passing out. We could never pin anything down, due to symptoms would be resolved before any doc could see it.
On March1, 2008, they did. Hard core.
He was raced to a major hospital in our area. It was determined that he had a blood clot in his lungs. It was summized at this point that the previous episodes were also, most likely, blood clots that resolved on their own. His joints started to grow strange orangish hard lumps, swelling insanely. He could barely move on a frequent basis. The diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Started on medicines that are not polite, no matter how you look at them. Told that he suffers from cardiomegaly at this time. Given more pills to help slow and strengthen the heart.
Time moves on. He needs oxygen all the time if he is trying to move. If he is sitting still, his body can keep up. A short walk across a room, and he is panting for air. He is on medicine to control any further blood clot formation. He is on drugs to slow and strengthen that precious heart. I come home one day to have him saying, "hon, it feels like there are butterflies in here", putting his hand on his chest.
Once again, we're looking for answers. Why is the heart racing along at 180 to 260 beats per minute, and then self convert to regularly irregular rhythm. Up for cardiac ablation. The surgeon found a "birth defect", and stopped, thinking that was the answer. Back again 3 months latter for round 2 ablation. Twenty focal points were found and destroyed. The focal points were telling the bottom of the heart to basically become a jello jiggler. The heart still has in interesting rhythm for anyone trying to get a rate. At least it is not going 260 beats a minute... I can't even come close to getting a count when it is that fast...
Most recently to this entry, he was in the hospital last week of March. Best way to describe it, watching him try to breath was like watching a goldfish that has jumped out of it's bowl. The heart was going up to 180 bpm, and he was exhausted just trying to breath. The local GP started him on high dose of prednisone, to calm the lungs, and blood pressure pills. On discharge, he recommended we see the lung doc and the heart doc.
Appointments were made with both. At the lung doc, we saw the nurse practitioner. She said it was not the lungs causing the problem. She threw a fit over the amount of prednisone and gave us directions to come off it quickly. The heart doc ran a few tests and said it was not the heart... to say the least I was more than a little frustrated. We followed directions, and then more problems surfaced. He was not able to eat, and was sleeping so much. Constant bad pain, especially in the lower back. His skin was taking on a strange orangish color. he looked like he was doing the fake bake sun treatment all over. Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea. He was falling when he tried to walk about the house. This is a man that has never had trouble with balance. We went to a gastroenterology specialist. He also said "not me". I expressed frustration. I had looked at Virg while we were waiting for the doc to come in on our last visit, and said "I know what's wrong! Your adrenal's have shut down! It all makes sense!" The doc came in, and said "you are so sick, do you really want to do anything further? It does not make sense to treat for anything with you being so sick." I stated to him I believed it was adrenal crisis, and he poo pawed me. Said he could not do anything more, and suggested we go to the emergency room of the local teaching hospital so we could be seen right away, if we did not want to wait to get into a clinic at the University of Iowa. I came home and called the GP. God love him. I have the GP's cell # cause he knows i will never abuse it. Told him what I thought. He got excited to, stating that we never see it, and that is probably was the answer. He ordered tests and prednisone right away. After two days on prednisone, Virg is alert, eating, and doing great. We have started to edge him off the prednisone, but very slowly. The first attempt to wean after going back on was a little too fast. We are now inching him off 1mg at a time. We went to a clinic at the University. Lung clinic. Went through all the students... and it was like a cattle call. poked, prodded, and then still not given any real answers. We were told to return in 6 weeks. When we did go back, we were told how "out of date" and the physicians that do not work at the U were, and that we should change all care over to the U. Problem was, they did not have any answers either.
We got a call from the heart specialist. He had us come in and suggested that we see the Congestive Heart Failure doc that was part of his group. We agreed, and went through yet more tests... found that the heart is at 30% efficiency at this time. 70% lost due to extreme thinning of the lower chambers. Imagine a balloon that has been blown up and deflated over and over... then let most of the air out. that is Virg's heart at this time. The extreme thinning of the muscle is rare without multiple heart attacks. We have started more medications for this... May i please state I hate pills...
Did post my frustration of Facebook. One of my friends mentioned to me that we should apply for military disability due to assumptive diseases. I did go to http://www.va.gov/ and found the spot to start. Virg has always stated that he knew his health issues were directly related to what they sprayed on him, and he was going to go after them. I told him of the spot i had found where i could "fast track" an application to the VA. He approved. I spent over an hour filing out the forms. If this is fast track, I do not want to ever be on the "slow lane".
Most recently, we went to a doc's appointment with the local GP, and were told they had a pile of VA papers they were completing for us. I am hopeful. Virg, to this day, feels that not only the long haired man at the airport spit on him when he came home, but so has our country. He needs validation that what we did to him as a young man was wrong. I need to make this happen for him just so he has a little peace in the final time he has on this planet...
He is very sick,... the gastro doc was right... but not so sick that he has given up. We have all the paperwork in place should the time come when he is ready to let life slide... but as for today... I am going to fight for him... he is my love...
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