We spent the majority of last night digging... looking through records and files. There was a search underway. A list in our hands that the Washington County VA requested that we have. Everything ranging from a DD-214 original, certified copy, ... marriage licenses... divorce decrees... you name it, we had to find it.
It was an interesting night at the same time. We both participated in the search. We knew the basic locations of everything... it was just digging through all the records to find those little pieces of paper.
I have never been a nosy wife. My husband had a life before me. We share everything, but I never felt it was correct to pry into spaces that he did not wish to talk of. I have never opened a dresser drawer of his, without him directing me too. He has always taken his own laundry and put it away. It is a place that to this day, I have not looked, other than to open quickly under his direction to grab a pair of socks. Going through the safe was a walk down the days of his life... It is not that I could not. My things are in there too... family jewelry, records... places and times that are priceless to me... worthless to another. I respect his space and his things. The things he has put there are stored, and I knew that at some point... he would explain what and why.
He showed me the very first coin that he ever saved... it is a liberty dime. He showed me the zippo lighter he carried in the jungles of Vietnam. It is worn... you could tell it had been loved. It is a treasure to him. He is so quiet about that time. He told of how it was hard to find lighter fluid.... when they got a can, everyone shared... filling all the lighters of everyone they knew. He talked of wet matches during the rainy season, and how they were useless. He talked of how one guy would light up when the lighters were running dry, and they passed the smoke till all where lit... There is a pocket watch of gold... old, and priceless to him... coins that he gathered over time... a small wooden cross and holy medals inside a small leather case.... he remembers them from Vietnam... he was not ready to talk of them....
He was so quiet as he quietly fingered some things... I mentioned photos from Vietnam that I would like to add to this blog. He promised me unreserved access to all of them... they will be coming, probably tomorrow, after the VA appointment. As I scan them in, I am going to have to have him explain everyone... I know he told me once... I don't remember all the places and names... I want them to be correct.
I have had quite a bit of frustration. I am trying to find his old buddies from Vietnam days. It was so long ago... the pattern for many Viet vets was not good. Ed Trudell of Kansas and James Hatchett (spelling may be way off on last one) of Texas he thinks... both guys were on a boat that went up river in country to deliver fuel to outposts... So many have ended their own lives, or sunk into drugs and alcohol. The Viet Vet sites I have gone to have already sold the info they asked for to telemarketers, and spammed my email. I trusted. i could not imagine my email would get hit so badly by vets... i really am having a hard time believing it was vets that spammed me. I am way too likely to believe the good in others. I have to learn a healthy dose of skepticism. I still so want to believe in the good of all people.... The shirt on my back is your's if you need it. It is just how I am. I have to believe there are good people out there.
So tomorrow, we go to sit across from a lady that works with vets in the county. I don't know how much help she will be, but I am hopeful.
It was an interesting night at the same time. We both participated in the search. We knew the basic locations of everything... it was just digging through all the records to find those little pieces of paper.
I have never been a nosy wife. My husband had a life before me. We share everything, but I never felt it was correct to pry into spaces that he did not wish to talk of. I have never opened a dresser drawer of his, without him directing me too. He has always taken his own laundry and put it away. It is a place that to this day, I have not looked, other than to open quickly under his direction to grab a pair of socks. Going through the safe was a walk down the days of his life... It is not that I could not. My things are in there too... family jewelry, records... places and times that are priceless to me... worthless to another. I respect his space and his things. The things he has put there are stored, and I knew that at some point... he would explain what and why.
He showed me the very first coin that he ever saved... it is a liberty dime. He showed me the zippo lighter he carried in the jungles of Vietnam. It is worn... you could tell it had been loved. It is a treasure to him. He is so quiet about that time. He told of how it was hard to find lighter fluid.... when they got a can, everyone shared... filling all the lighters of everyone they knew. He talked of wet matches during the rainy season, and how they were useless. He talked of how one guy would light up when the lighters were running dry, and they passed the smoke till all where lit... There is a pocket watch of gold... old, and priceless to him... coins that he gathered over time... a small wooden cross and holy medals inside a small leather case.... he remembers them from Vietnam... he was not ready to talk of them....
He was so quiet as he quietly fingered some things... I mentioned photos from Vietnam that I would like to add to this blog. He promised me unreserved access to all of them... they will be coming, probably tomorrow, after the VA appointment. As I scan them in, I am going to have to have him explain everyone... I know he told me once... I don't remember all the places and names... I want them to be correct.
I have had quite a bit of frustration. I am trying to find his old buddies from Vietnam days. It was so long ago... the pattern for many Viet vets was not good. Ed Trudell of Kansas and James Hatchett (spelling may be way off on last one) of Texas he thinks... both guys were on a boat that went up river in country to deliver fuel to outposts... So many have ended their own lives, or sunk into drugs and alcohol. The Viet Vet sites I have gone to have already sold the info they asked for to telemarketers, and spammed my email. I trusted. i could not imagine my email would get hit so badly by vets... i really am having a hard time believing it was vets that spammed me. I am way too likely to believe the good in others. I have to learn a healthy dose of skepticism. I still so want to believe in the good of all people.... The shirt on my back is your's if you need it. It is just how I am. I have to believe there are good people out there.
So tomorrow, we go to sit across from a lady that works with vets in the county. I don't know how much help she will be, but I am hopeful.
I'll be praying for you :)
ReplyDeleteKelley