We had been given a call from the scheduling assistant for the cardiac surgeon. It is scary to think that part of our team is a doc that specializes in congestive heart failure, and a cardiac surgeon, along with a nurse practitioner. Really did not have a clue as to what he wanted to see us in regards to. He did not mince words at all. I think that is one of the reasons that I respect him as much as I do. He looked straight at us after he entered and shook hands. He stated that Virg was an extremely high risk for a heart attack with the heart failure advanced as it was, and that we needed to get him in for a defibrillator as soon as possible. He started to go back over all the records while we were with him, and continued to explain to Virg why it was needed.
The heart was so weak, and had advanced so quickly to this advanced stage, and one heart attack, and he would not survive without the defibrillator. He noticed that we have not done a cardiac catherization recently, and wanted to have that done before we went in for the defibrillator. He stated that he did not do that particular thing but there were several docs in the practice that specialized in it. He found the stress test that was done in 2009, and stated it would not need to be repeated. He did then state that once the cardiac cath was done, we would need to repeat the muga.
He so slowly repeated all the info a second time, and asked if we were ok with the cardiac cath to be done soon. Virg just looked like he had been run over with a truck. I asked for a moment for us to talk. Doc left the room, saying he did want to pull records that were stored elsewhere. That gave me a chance to repeat everything, and he asked the questions of me. It is scary to realize just how much trust he has in me. I put everything into plain english, and stopped several times to make sure he completely understood what I was talking about. I explained to Virg that his heart was very worn out. That the left ventricle was just plain paper thin, and weary.... like a horse rode hard and put away wet. With the irregular heart beat pattern that he still has, it is not racing at 260, but it is not routine, and it does still go fast and miss a lot of beats. All of it combines to shot his risk over the moon. The defibrillator would basically sit there. It would not do anything at all until it was needed, and he was in "deep shit" to put it plainly, and most likely he would never feel the shock it would deliver, as he would be passed out at that time. It may bring him awake, but that is better than the other option.
Virg did feel a little overwhelmed by everything. His understanding was that the medicines would fix everything. That with the right dose, it would get better. Being told that you need something put into your chest that will jolt you is not the kind of thing that any of us want to hear. He was concerned about the tubes into the hip/groin area that he suffered before. I quietly explained that I knew there were several docs that worked in the practice that did the cardiac cath through the wrist, not just groin area. With that you don't even have to lay flat for four hours. And I reminded him that doc had said he would have another doc do the cath. Simple to ask for one that did do it through the wrist.... and he was onboard as long as he was knocked out for the procedure. I laughed at that one, cause with his lungs.... there is no other way.
We started joking about having the defibrillator attached to the outside, cause he really did not want to have his chest cracked open. We joked of gluing it with superglue to the outside of the chest. I reassured him that he would not become part of the zipper club quite yet. I went on to explain how wires are fed down to the heart, and then the defibrillator is placed just under the skin on the upper chest. Once he had questions answered, he was fine with going ahead with it. We told doc that we were ready to move forward. He stated that he would have his nurse schedule it with one of the "wrist docs". We were given instructions on what to do the night before, and what meds to hold when. Keeping track of all his pills is almost a full time job, as he is taking 22 daily right now.
We did have it scheduled, and so quickly things move when they start rolling forward. When I came home today to pick him up, I was informed that the abdomen CT is a go for Monday at 8 am in Washington. The cardiac cath is set for 7:30 am on Wednesday. It is in Cedar Rapids. We have to leave the house at 4:45 am. Both days he can have nothing to eat the night before. I have to take certain pills out of his meds. He is not going to be a happy camper till this is over.
There was blood work to be done within a week of the procedure. Since it is 6 days from now, I suggested we have it done at St Lukes today, cause Washington lost the last set. Oh, how he grumbled, and went along with me.
When we got into the car and headed homeward, I finally got the reason that he did not want this. It is painful to have a catheter put in for him. We had negotiated that it be done after he was put under the last time. I explained that I was sure that would not be a problem, cause it really does not matter to them when they do it. It is just a safety issue. And he nodded.
It was a quiet ride. I could tell he was thinking. I had mentioned that I was being selfish, but am totally not ready to loss a husband again. I mentioned the old joke that he has to hang around till I am dead, cause I don't want to be alone again... I also mentioned all the other people in his life that are just not ready to lose him. I knew he was facing his own mortality... and that is the hardest thing of all... the knowledge that we really are becoming "short timers"... treasuring the days...
I can't think any more tonight.... I am going to lay down for a while, curl up and dream softly....
The heart was so weak, and had advanced so quickly to this advanced stage, and one heart attack, and he would not survive without the defibrillator. He noticed that we have not done a cardiac catherization recently, and wanted to have that done before we went in for the defibrillator. He stated that he did not do that particular thing but there were several docs in the practice that specialized in it. He found the stress test that was done in 2009, and stated it would not need to be repeated. He did then state that once the cardiac cath was done, we would need to repeat the muga.
He so slowly repeated all the info a second time, and asked if we were ok with the cardiac cath to be done soon. Virg just looked like he had been run over with a truck. I asked for a moment for us to talk. Doc left the room, saying he did want to pull records that were stored elsewhere. That gave me a chance to repeat everything, and he asked the questions of me. It is scary to realize just how much trust he has in me. I put everything into plain english, and stopped several times to make sure he completely understood what I was talking about. I explained to Virg that his heart was very worn out. That the left ventricle was just plain paper thin, and weary.... like a horse rode hard and put away wet. With the irregular heart beat pattern that he still has, it is not racing at 260, but it is not routine, and it does still go fast and miss a lot of beats. All of it combines to shot his risk over the moon. The defibrillator would basically sit there. It would not do anything at all until it was needed, and he was in "deep shit" to put it plainly, and most likely he would never feel the shock it would deliver, as he would be passed out at that time. It may bring him awake, but that is better than the other option.
Virg did feel a little overwhelmed by everything. His understanding was that the medicines would fix everything. That with the right dose, it would get better. Being told that you need something put into your chest that will jolt you is not the kind of thing that any of us want to hear. He was concerned about the tubes into the hip/groin area that he suffered before. I quietly explained that I knew there were several docs that worked in the practice that did the cardiac cath through the wrist, not just groin area. With that you don't even have to lay flat for four hours. And I reminded him that doc had said he would have another doc do the cath. Simple to ask for one that did do it through the wrist.... and he was onboard as long as he was knocked out for the procedure. I laughed at that one, cause with his lungs.... there is no other way.
We started joking about having the defibrillator attached to the outside, cause he really did not want to have his chest cracked open. We joked of gluing it with superglue to the outside of the chest. I reassured him that he would not become part of the zipper club quite yet. I went on to explain how wires are fed down to the heart, and then the defibrillator is placed just under the skin on the upper chest. Once he had questions answered, he was fine with going ahead with it. We told doc that we were ready to move forward. He stated that he would have his nurse schedule it with one of the "wrist docs". We were given instructions on what to do the night before, and what meds to hold when. Keeping track of all his pills is almost a full time job, as he is taking 22 daily right now.
We did have it scheduled, and so quickly things move when they start rolling forward. When I came home today to pick him up, I was informed that the abdomen CT is a go for Monday at 8 am in Washington. The cardiac cath is set for 7:30 am on Wednesday. It is in Cedar Rapids. We have to leave the house at 4:45 am. Both days he can have nothing to eat the night before. I have to take certain pills out of his meds. He is not going to be a happy camper till this is over.
There was blood work to be done within a week of the procedure. Since it is 6 days from now, I suggested we have it done at St Lukes today, cause Washington lost the last set. Oh, how he grumbled, and went along with me.
When we got into the car and headed homeward, I finally got the reason that he did not want this. It is painful to have a catheter put in for him. We had negotiated that it be done after he was put under the last time. I explained that I was sure that would not be a problem, cause it really does not matter to them when they do it. It is just a safety issue. And he nodded.
It was a quiet ride. I could tell he was thinking. I had mentioned that I was being selfish, but am totally not ready to loss a husband again. I mentioned the old joke that he has to hang around till I am dead, cause I don't want to be alone again... I also mentioned all the other people in his life that are just not ready to lose him. I knew he was facing his own mortality... and that is the hardest thing of all... the knowledge that we really are becoming "short timers"... treasuring the days...
I can't think any more tonight.... I am going to lay down for a while, curl up and dream softly....
Make sure that Dad understands that the wrist part is NOTHING! It hurts like a bitch when they are done... but with the awesome drugs I didn't care. It is actually really cool to watch.
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